The Lingering Effects of Rainy Days
Published on: Jun 27, 2023Filed under: Scratch
I peeked over the bridge today. The James was still high, dramatically higher than normal. Same as it has been for the past few days. Expected after 100 hours of rain.
Even with the shifted elevation, the change of perspective, even though I am still learning the river, the sudden change was enough to back me off. To signal danger. My kayak will stay stowed under my back deck for a few more days.
Until the waters lower.
Until things feel safer.
Which is a shockingly painful decision. I want to get out there. I want to paddle. To float and claw my way upstream. I want the clarity that comes on the water.
But I am not trying to drown.
I’m working through a particularly large problem, an idea that’s been gnawing at me for literally years and I’m at the rare intersection of technological advancement, personal skill, and sudden free time where I might be able to address it.
And being out on the river helps me process, it gives me just enough other things to contend with - paired with the river being a cellular dead zone - that I’m able to find perspective.
I know I'm putting my vinyl project on hold for a minute. I'm going to stop chasing an idea that's marginally better than what exists in favor of something new. During my recent AI panel I said that you can't catch a wave from behind, and this idea is on ahead of the wave.
But not tomorrow. After today’s thunderstorms, the water isn’t going down anytime soon.
I took next week off. I aim to fill my days with the things I find fulfilling. Mornings on the water, paddling through the mist. Days with code and tackling that problem - the big haunting question that I haven’t been able to shake for dozen years. And nights of wine and another Mass Effect play through. Nine days of being me.
I’ll be back on the water Wednesday.